Crunch time

It's been a while since I've posted, so I have quite a few random thoughts that I'd like to share, so bear with me.  First, this is a lot harder than we anticipated it would be, infinitely harder.  We had an idea that we would be waiting and that it would be quite expensive and that this would add to our family, but there are other things that have come up that we could not have seen or prepared for. 

Stress:  Everyone experiences stress in some fashion or another, for a variety of reasons and deal with it in different ways...some healthy, some not so much.  Right now, we're experiencing probably the most stress that we've ever collectively dealt with, and to be honest with you, we're barely treading water dealing with it.  There are the obvious factors;  the waiting, the fundraising, the waiting, the preperation, the waiting...but there are other factors that I don't think you can fully appreciate until you've been through this process yourself.  As you know, we have been and are very open about our faith and our reliance on God to see us through this process.  What we didn't anticipate were the trials and tests that we would go through once we said "yes."  We are do'ers, and in being so like to push full-steam ahead once we've made a decision to do something.  What we've found with adoption is that once you've made the decision, there's not much you can really do afterward to change the speed at which things happen.  Sure, you can get all of your paperwork done as quickly as possible, get your physical done and the appointments made, but after that there really isn't anything for you to do...but wait.  Even further, once you have your refferal and you have laid eyes on your child, the waiting gets worse.  Now there is a real person you are waiting for and who is waiting for you to come and rescue them and there is very little you can do to speed it up. 
Other trials we didn't anticipate happened and are happening here at home.  Our family is a very busy family, with both adults working, kids in school and sports, both of us very active in the church and a social life sprinkled in there somewhere. We've quickly realized that we simply had too much on our plate and have begun to step away from several activities on our calendar in preperation for our little girl's arrival.  Also, Christy has been unhappy and underappreciated for quite some time at work, and through this process it's become apparant to her that her job is not "her job" meaning this is not what she's supposed to be doing.  It's also become apparant that our family is not healthy right now, not in way of someone being sick, but in regards to mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  Christy working so much and not being able to be here at home where she's needed;  she works more than I do and gets paid less, which isn't fair and is quite burdensome. Also,we have 3 young boys here at home who need their momma before and after school, me who is failing daily in the morning routine of getting the kids and myself  together to make it to the bus, and a little girl who, if something doesn't change, is going to have to be put into day-care a short 6-8 weeks after arriving to America with a new family...and she doesn't even speak English.  So, we're looking at options for Christy to work from home because, honestly, it takes two incomes to maintain our current lifestyle.  Now, we love our house, our neighborhood and the schools, but if this doesn't work out then,at this point, all options are on the table because our family has to come first.  Many prayers are appreciated in this regard. 

Fundraising:  I absolutely loath the thought of having to ask people for help financially, so much so that we've exhausted all monies we can extract from my 401k and life insurance, but the truth of the matter is it wasn't enough and we can't afford to pony up the approximately $20,000 it takes to adopt from Congo.  So, we've swallowed our pride and asked for help in the way of donations, a matching-grant and several fundraisers and everyone has come through in a huge way, so much so that we're close to having enough to be able to travel and go get her.  Unfortunately, even with all of the donations and the grant, we're still $2,000 short of where we need to be.  We've already asked everyone we know for help, and we don't want to be those people that keep asking and keep asking, so we're praying for His provision in this regard, even to the point of taking a personal loan to cover the rest.  I hate doing that, but I'd rather go that route then her having to spend one more minute in the orphanage in Congo than necessarry.  Things happen over there, we'll just leave it at that.  More prayers needed.

Travel:  How do you plan to leave your 3 young children here in the states while you travel halfway across the world to a third-world country where you'll be out of cell phone range and be gone for several weeks?  This has proven to be the latest in a series of tests that we hadn't anticipated.  Yes, we knew that we would have to go to Congo to get Imani, but it's all so abstract at that time that you simply say "We'll work it out."  Well, we are now in crunch time and we are having to work it out!  Fortunately, we have been blessed with two things:  Dillan's soccer buddy's mom has offered for Dillan to stay with them as long as needed while we are traveling, and the other is Christy's mom, my mother-in-law.  She is still staying with us and will be while we are traveling and can, therefore, watch James and Ben...with the help of some of our wonderful neighbors.  Trust me when I say this that I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER would have planned on my MIL living with us for over a year but, as it turns out, God saw the big picture where we did not and had a better plan.  So we're rolling with it and trying to let go of controlling it.  Keep the prayers coming...

We were warned that there would be times where we would be tested and my how that has proven to be true.  I firmly believe that we, in following what we believe to be God's will for our family, are being attacked by the enemy in our areas of greatest weakness so as to try and destroy us from within and stop us from doing His will.  I've learned that this is when the devil fights the hardest, when you are doing God's will, and that punk has been fighting us every step of the way.  But, I've also learned that the reason the devil fights so hard is that he knows that God has something wonderful planned for us on the other side.  So, we're excited as to what that is, we're excited to be so close to going and getting our little girl, and we're excited to see what the future holds for our family. 
Thanx again for all of the support and prayers, they both have been sorely needed and appreciated. 
-Rob

Merry Christmas!!!

Baby Girl,

Merry Christmas! 

I have no idea how much you know right now.  Do you know you have a mom and dad in America who can not wait to come to Africa?  Do you know you have three brothers who are dying to wrap their arms around you?  You can not possibly know how much you are loved right now in this one moment.  You are in Africa and we are here in America and yet, those THOUSANDS of miles can not separate you from our love.  I mean, we are SO IN LOVE with you.  Your beautiful smile, your beautiful eyes and your sweet face.  Last month you met a new friend of mine, Heidi, and she took some video of you - we finally got to see a little of your sweet personality.  You are going to love our family - with your energy you will fit right in.

I want you to know - you are OURS!  And FOREVER we will be YOURS!  I know we haven't met yet, but, sweet girl, you have a forever family.  I know your life is hard right now, and it probably will be for the next couple months or years as you adjust to your new mom and dad, but, I promise you, you were loved before we ever laid eyes on you.  You are in our hearts and we are aching to be with you!  It is my hope and my fervent prayer, that 1 month from today, your dad and I will be on a plane to Africa to welcome you to our family.  1 month!  30 days. A very short time from now.  Many people have contributed to our journey to bring you home and I can not wait for you to meet them.

Your dad is painting you a beautiful room.  Your nanny is going to teach me how to sew curtains.  Your brothers are already fighting about where you will sit at the dinner table.  Your brother Benjamin keeps trying to get me to buy you a purse - he said you need one.  Dillan, your oldest brother, wants me to get on a plane right now to bring you home.  I think you and he will have a special bond.  He has already told me that any boy who breaks your heart will have to answer to him!  James, your second oldest brother, wants to show you how to play football and all of his cool TV shows.

We will be there soon.  I know it.  Just a couple more steps....

Love,

Mom   

She's official!

I know that it has been some time since we have updated the blog, and our sincerest apologies.  Things have been moving at an incredible pace lately;  we have finally received both the adoption and birth certificate judgements!  In addition, the 30 day wait period known as CONA has expired, which means she is officially a Whitver!

I do have to digress a bit and tell on Christy, but only becaus she hasn't done it yet and because there is such a cool lesson in this for her.  There are several families that are in roughly the same point in the process as we are and apparantly we were all submitted to court at the end of October.  Well, the other families received word a couple of weeks ago that they all passed court on November 3rd but we didn't get our judgement...bummer.   Major bummer!  Apparantly there was some sort of issue with our paperwork but we didn't know what it was and we weren't getting any communication back from the orphanage director as to why.  A week went by, 10 days and counting and the frustration was mounting...especially for Christy.  I kept telling her that everything will work out according to God's timing, but she didn't like hearing that...not one bit!  Well, at the end of November, right after Thanksgiving in fact, we got word that we actually did pass court along with the other families, and not only did we get our judgement, but by that time the 30 day wait period was almost over!  The process, in reality, wasn't delayed even one day, yet I firmly believe that God used this to show Christy again that she has to put her whole faith in Him and His plan, because His plan is really the best one.  We laugh about it now, but she was amused while in the middle of it all!

So, now she is officially a Whitver...she is officially OUR DAUGHTER!  That seems almost surreal typing and saying that, but it's true.  Even crazier is saying that we now have 4 kids!  It has to be His design because it surely wasn't ours, but we are uber excited and have started making plans for when we get to go over and get her.  On that note, we are currently waiting for her official birth certificate to be issued and her Congolese passport;  once we have both of those things, we can travel.  We are tentatively planning on leaving for Congo on January 25th, arriving the 27th.  From our understanding, as soon as you get there they bring your child to you and she will stay in the hotel with us while the final paperwork is being finished (travel visa, exit letter, etc.)  --And this is the best part:  January 27th is Christy's birthday!  Tell me that wouldn't be the best birthday present ever?!  I'm praying that God's timing matches up with this little scenario...

So, we are beginning to paint her room;  it's going to be a sun yellow and I'm going to paint flowers and butterflies on the walls for her as well...hopefully it'll turn out good.  (yes, i'm kinda artsy in that way...if you've ever seen my son's room you know why)  We also have her bedding stuff, which was donated by our awesome neighbors from their girls, so there's another buck saved. 

Anyway, that's all for now...we promise to keep this updated more regularly.  Thanx for keeping up with us.

-Rob

Why Africa?

I know some people wonder why Congo?  I thought I would try to explain why Congo.

Estimates of the orphan crisis range from 147 million to 153 million orphans in the world.  That is at least 1/3 more than the amount of people who turned out for the election of the President of the United States two week ago. 

There are approximately 4.6 million orphans in the DRC alone.  Here is a picture to give you some perspective:

Every single person in the "Greater Boston" area would be an orphan.  EVERYONE!  Not just all the children in that area, but everyone.  Can you begin to see how many children that is?  Children.  They have no one to protect them, no one to provide for them, no home, no mother, no father, not enough food, and no LOVE.  Can you imagine never experiencing love?  That is the life of these children.  Here are some photos of a friend of mine who was in Congo picking up her children in October:

Yes, that is the Congo River.

Can you see the person in the tent?

That's a village. 

 

 

Friends, this is not Sally Strouthers from those 80's commercials.  The is not, "eat all your food because there are starving children in Africa!" I think we, as Americans, have been desensitized to the conditions of orphans in Africa and around the world.

 

I have a friend there, right now.  She is using the same facilitator that we are.  The facilitator brought her son to her on Friday.  That night, the little boy had an absolute meltdown at dinner time.  My friend just thought that they would share with him off of their plates.  The little screamed and screamed.  He ended up getting so mad that he crawled under the bed and ate his chicken leg to the bone.  When  I say to the bone, I mean fat and grisle and ALL!  They are now giving him his own plate but he still has a melt down at meal times, then he eats until he throws up.  He drinks water until he throws up.  This 4 year old little boy doesn't know that he is now is the arms of his forever family and won't have to worry about his next meal because it will be provided for.

 

The orphan crisis is serious.  I honestly feel like I am on a rescue mission to get my daughter.  Rob and I feel like one of our children is across the world and we have to get to her before it is too late.  If you believe in Christ, you should be on a rescue mission as well because the Bible states over and over what is written so eloquently in James 1:27:

 

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

 

It is not every one's calling to adopt, we fully understand that.  Please think about what it is that you CAN do.  Sponsor a child?  Make a one time donation?  Help another family adopt?  There is something you can do, I know it - pray about it, and you will know too!

 

Rob and I were awarded a matching grant through Hand in Hand Christian Adoption.  If you would like to support us, now is the time!  We have until November 30th for Hand in Hand to receive any donations on our behalf.  They will then MATCH it dollar for dollar.  Please help if you can!  We appreciate it!

 

If you want to make a donation, please make your check payable to Hand in Hand Christian Adoption and mail to:

 

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption

Rob and Christy Whitver

18318 Mimosa Court

Gardner, KS  66030

 

Thank you for your support!

Christy

 

 



Update!

I have tried a couple of times to post as there has been A LOT of things going on that I wanted to share, but I just can’t seem to get everything out in a reasonable amount of words.  Seriously, I have tried like 7 times…..and it is extremely long! 

So, for now, I will just sum it up and say that GOD IS GREAT and that He has brought a new realization to me of his faithfulness and his love for me!

Our silent auction was FABULOUS!  I cannot believe that it came together in less than 3 weeks.  We received donations galore and so many people shared on their Facebook pages and I have been overwhelmed by its success.  It is by far our most successful fundraiser so far!  We made over $1,500 in 4 days!  Can you believe that?  Amazing!

Adoption Update – We were submitted to court on October 25^th.  This is an exciting and very important step!  We have also received our birth certificate judgment.  This is a judgment that will order the social welfare to give the birth certificate.  It will make it easier to get our names on the birth certificate once the judge rules in favor of the adoption.  This will also take some time off of the “wait” after the adoption judgment, so that is very cool!  We are hoping to have judgment this month, but it may not happen until December.  We are preparing to file in country, which would put us in Africa for 3 weeks +/-; I’m just not sure that I can wait for 2 to 3 months here in the US while things are settled.  We are praying very diligently over this, so any prayer that you would be willing to offer, we would be most grateful.

We are still a little short in the money department and we are trying to decide what to do – T-shirts or something similar.  I have seen so many creative t-shirts so I’m not sure we will be able to compete with them, but I’m willing to try it at some point!

Until later, I appreciate you taking the time read our blog and for your caring in our adoption process!

Christy

Silent Auction is now open!

Our silent auction fundraiser is now open!  Check out http://www.facebook.com/groups/OurLoveFromAfricaSilentAuction/

and see if you find something you like!

Pictures, Puzzle and Tag Sale Updates

Wow, wow, wow.  That is my day today.  Woke up at 3am, checked phone for any adoption updates - none.  Fell back asleep.  Alarm went off at 5am, checked phone - UPDATES!!!! 

Ok, I'm going to push the "pause" button here for just a minute.  We had our yard sale, "tag sale", this past Saturday.  It was great.  I learned more about receiving love from others and the true meaning of "community" more than anything.  Let me just say again, I have been blown away by the love and support of friends and church family.  People I don't know personally donated stuff.  It was just so amazing to be apart of all this community.  It was such a blessing to be part of it.  We made a little over $400 at the yard sale.  Technically, we aren't done because we have alot of donated furniture we are going to put on Craig's List, and some other things we are going to put on Ebay.  Not bad, not bad at all!  We get to change our little fundraiser ticker to include that!  YEAH!  It's really nice too see that number go up.  Thank you to everyone who donated.  We sincerely appreciate your kindness and generosity.

Moving on to the updates - I was totally surprised by the new pictures of Imani in my mailbox this morning.  She is much smaller than I realized.  Much!  She is skinny.  Not scary skinny, but pretty skinny.  Our facilitator told us we should have our consent to adopt from the commune this week.  Praise the Lord!  They have this saying - This is Africa - meaning, plans are optional.  It is very relaxed over there.  When some tells you "this week" you need to be prepared for sometime this month, hopefully. UGH!  So annoying.  To me, this week is TODAY.  Trying to relax here.

One of my new facebook friends is in the DRC right now picking up her kids.  We had sent a couple little things to Imani through my friend.  She was finally able to go today.  Although, we thought she wouldn't, then she did.....talk about a roller coaster - she was also supposed to go last week.  Up, down, up, down.....I was glued to my computer ALL afternoon.  At 3pm I was like, ok, it is 8pm there, she HAS to be back by now because she has been getting her kids to bed about 8....then, the pictures started coming.  OH MY GOODNESS!  It was so great, I was crying tears of happiness.  Kinds weird because I am not very "touchy feely" when it comes to others, but to see all these pictures of these kids who are living together, waiting on their families to come and get them....it was amazing that my new friend was able to go and give us all a little glimpse.  I try to describe it as when you are pregnant and "if I could just see his/her face one time, then I will be content" feeling....all the while knowing that you will NEVER be content with just one peek!  I can't wait to get on the plane to Africa and to bring her home - to her family.  Soon.  Very soon.

Puzzle - Ok, we are making some serious progress on this puzzle.  How many pieces do you think we have sold?  Take a guess.  Remember, this is a 1,000 piece puzzle.  HUGE.  Like, out of our mind huge!  It took us 6 weeks to put this thing together.  We would work and work and work, then take a break.  Then work and work and work.  Take a break.  Then, FINALLY, we got close and then we had a fire within to get it done!  Dillan, James and Ben put in the last three pieces.  It was great!  Here is the finished product:

To date, we have sold 394!  Whoo Hoo!  We are making some serious progress in a short amount of time!  So exciting!  Thank you all!  I still have some names to fill in above, so if you don't see yours, then don't worry, i have not forgotten!

It's late and I am really tired.  Today was a GREAT day, but I am drained from the ups and downs!

Christy