Give 1, Save 1...actually, save 2!

Ok, so by now you may have seen Christy's earlier post about the types of orphanages in Congo and wondered "what is that all about?" or you may have seen several curious facebook messages from either Christy or I, or both, about some God-sized things that have been happening in our little corner of the world lately and...well, here is one of them, and it's a big one.

We have been blessed with being this week's featured family on the website Give 1, Save 1, which started as an adoptive mother's blog and has morphed into so much more to include featuring a new adoptive family each week to share their (our) story and provide a link so that other's can contribute financially to the cause.  We feel honored and humbled to be this week's family and owe a huge debt of gratitude to Josh McClure from our church, Journey Christian Church, for filming and editing the video for us.  And, as you may have noticed on the website, this week couldn't have come at a better time (funny how God works those things out, huh?)  So without further adeu...

 

Please meet Galvani, a 6 yr old boy who has been living in abandoned cars on the streets ever since his parents both died and his half-brothers abandoned him on the streets. The orphanage that Imani, our 2 yr old daughter that we are also adopting, is currently at has offered him to stay there for about 2 weeks while they try to find a family that will adopt him; if not, he will then go to a state-funded orphanage that lacks running water or electricity, has about 75+ kids and only enough food for each kid to eat every 2-3 days...one meal. The unfortunate truth is that most kids, if not adopted by the age of 3-4, will not get adopted...families simply want babies and toddlers, so Galvani's chances of getting adopted at all, yet alone in 2 weeks, are slim to none.

Other families were interested and we thought one was a "shoo in".  Unfortunately, things just didn't work out with any of the families that were interested.  We haven't been able to shake the thought of him, can't stand the thought of his plight and have felt God's little nudges towards him...so.....

After prayer and council, we've decided to make him a Whitver!!!

I know this is crazy; trust us we both are tremendously scared and nervous, but at the end of the day he's just a boy who desperately needs a family who will love on him and provide a safe place for him, and we feel that this is exactly in line with what God wants us to do as Christians.  And, we know that sometimes God asks us to do things that the world will say is crazy but that should't prevent us from doing His work, either. 

Now, we know that we can't save every child, we know that and we're making additional plans to help those children as well (more on that later) but this is a unique set of circumstances that has fallen perfectly into our lap.  We have the room and we definately know boys;  our hearts ache for what this boy has already been through and we could not with a clear conscience let him go when we could have done something to save him.  We also have no idea how we are going to pay for this, either, but here is what we do know; what God has started He will finish and He will provide.

Please join us in celebrating the newest addition to our family.

Love you all,

Rob & Christy

Overwhelmed by it all

God is doing amazing things in our lives right now and is using us in ways that I never would have imagined.  This past week has been nothing short of amazing in so many ways that it's hard to even put it down into words, but there are several things, big God-sized things, on the horizon that we feel truly humbled to be apart of;  one of those we'll reveal later on tonight.  While I'm extremely excited about these things, I'm also feeling very unworthy and truly humbled by them as well.  I look at my past, the mistakes I've made and continue to make, at the sins I keep asking God for forgiveness for over and over and I wonder why He chooses people like me to do His work.  Please don't mistake this as a whoa is me, pity me post for that is not it's intention, I'm just trying to get some thoughts down and be as transparent as I can.  I'm also continually overwhelmed by the generosity of the people we know and love towards our adoption efforts when at times it doesn't make sense or just seems plain crazy...to the point that at times I don't know how to respond with anything other than a thank-you because I'm truly at a loss for words but please know, we truly appreciate everything that everyone has done for us. 

I have an accountability partner, a mentor if you will, that I meet with on a weekly basis...well, we try to meet that often but some weeks are just too crazy to match up our schedules.  (as a side note to men;  if you don't have an accountability partner, you need to seriously consider getting one.)  I met him several months back on a mission trip to Honduras where I am certain that God placed us in the same room to find each other;  he had been praying for someone to mentor and I had been praying for an accountability partner...now how cool is that?  In any case, I was talking with him on Friday about all of the crazy things that have been layed out before us and how I just don't understand why God would pick me to do this kind of work;  I've never thought that I would have a bunch of children or do something in the mission field yet here I find myself.  I was relaying to him how I really don't feel worthy to be used like this and he reminded me that none of us are.  We all fall short and it's only by His grace and mercy that any of us get to be apart of His work in the kingdom.  If you look through the Bible you'll see time and time again examples of how God used not only ordinary people, but often they were those that society scoffed at;  liars, cheaters, adulterers, murderers, persecuters, etc.  So I'm encouraged that if God can use people like that to do His work, then he can surely use someone like me.  So it is my prayer that He keeps me humble,meek and patient throughout all of this and I'll strive to continually seek His guidance in all the things that we do.  I don't know where all of this will lead, but what I do know is that the devotional from Jesus Calling below says it all. 

State run "orphanages"

What does a state run orphanage look like?  Well, first, let me explain what they different types of orphanages are.

A.) Agency sponsored orphanage - An agency sponsored orphanage has the backing of an adoption agency. The adoption agency funds the orphanage to a certain degree and the kids are generally taken care of to some degree - meaning they probably eat once a day and there are probably 30 or so kids. Most of the kids will eventually be adopted - probably.  May or may not have running water or electricity.

B.) Transitional orphanage - A transitional orphanage is for kids who are being adopted.  These children will most definitely be adopted.  Usually MUCH smaller with a capacity of 15 - 20 children.  These children usually eat at least twice a day, but might even get three meals.  These children tend to be a bit healthier since the environment is smaller.  Usually has running water and electricity.

C.) State (or government) sponsored orphanage - A state run orphanage is funded by the government.  Sadly, these orphanages are given just enough money that the 75 - 85 children eat every 2 to 3 days.  Two or three people are given a very small stipend to sort of watch over the kids.  No running water, no electricity - nothing.  Just a building that is falling apart.  This is where the "older" children - over 3 - generally go because they usually will not be adopted.  People want younger children - babies and toddlers, so these
"older" children go to these orphanages until they are old enough to make it on their own.  How old do you think that is?  Wait for it.......10 to 12.  Yep, most of the time, these children leave the orphanage to go to street life because they can make it better there.

Why am I telling you this?  Because.....this information will become important over the next couple of days.

Sharing big news on Monday!

<3
Christy

Round and Round....

Round and Round we go, where we'll stop nobody knows!!!!

These last two weeks have felt like we have been spinning uncontrollably on a merry-go-round.  Spin a little here, spin a little there, up over here, down over here and spin it all around!

On January 21, 2013, the US Embassy in Kinshasa changed the "rules" on us.  They decided that due to corruption from certain American adoption agencies and certain lawyers in the Congo, they needed to begin doing much, much, much more through investigations.  So much so they are estimating it will take an additional 3 to 6 MONTHS!!!!  The Embassy is honoring all appointments that were made previous to the changes.....but, that still doesn't help us.  I mailed our i600 (all of our Congo paperwork for the adoption - once this is "approved" our daughter is classified as our immediate family member and will be allowed entry into the United States) on January 29th.  We were a few short weeks away from making those appointments!  I was SO MAD!  LIVID, actually.  Immediately, I begin thinking, "God, what is going on here?  Are you serious?  For real? This is a joke right?  3 to 6 MONTHS???"  As I normally do, I run with all of my emotions to the worst case scenarios and I am playing them all out in my head.  If this happens, then I will do that....If that happens, then I will do this.  I also immediately begin thinking, Ok, How do I get around this?  Where is the loop hole?   How can I weasel my way around this? Think, think, think.......and then......

I had peace.  Peace that transcends all understanding - that is the only way I can describe it.  It is not going to be THAT much longer.  I just know it.  Now, no, I did not hear some thundering voice, "Christy, stop worrying, it will not be 3 to 6 extra months!"  HA!  Our lawyer and facilitator have not had one issue with any of their cases.  Not a one.  All of the visa's that the Embassy has issued has been done quickly.  They have every single document - even all the ones the US says are not required.  Immigration hasn't had any problems with any cases.  Don't get me wrong....I still sometimes ponder, what if it was 6 more months?  6 more months of the orphanage, 6 more months of her possibly having worm or parasites., 6 more months of .......fill in the blank.  I've decided, I'm going to pray her home.  I know there was nothing unethical about my case.  I have nothing to hide.  While I am heartbroken that my timeline is not being followed, in the end, these more thorough investigations are going to cut down on corruption. 

I have spoken about this before, but there are approximately 4.6 million orphans in DRC alone.....why would there need to be ANY kidnapping?  Really? Yep, really really.  One of the cases that caused these changes were allegations that a child was kidnapped and had gone through the whole process and is already in the US.  Another example is that an attorney created fraudulent paperwork and tried to use it for two different children - one already in the US.

It honestly makes me sick to think about what some of these parents in the US are going through knowing that their longed for and deeply loved child was a product of child trafficking....I can't even begin to think about what the parents in the DRc are going through.  So, if the Embassy wants a little more time to make sure my case is on the up and up, please, take it.  On the off chance that something unethical was revealed, I would much rather deal with it now then in 2 years....

This is just one thought for today....I have LOTS this week that I will be sharing!  Rob and I will have a very, very cool announcement on Monday, February 18th!  I can't wait to share!!!!

Christy

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I woke up 36.  Doesn't feel any different than when I went to bed last night at 35!

Everyone of these ladies is one of my neighbors.  They are so special to me!  We live in a great neighborhood, but one of the things that makes it so great is the friendships we have built.  We have so much fun!  Our kids are all friends.  The older kids look out for the younger ones - they all love (and sometimes hate) each other.  All of our friends are eagerly awaiting the arrival of our little girl.  Two of the ladies pictured above have girls close in age to Imani - that means instant best friends! 

Today is a sort of sad day - it was the day that I had worked in my mind that we would arrive in Africa to pick Imani up.  How sweet would that have been to have her "gotcha day" be the same day as my birthday? 

We are making progress though.  The "unofficial" progress is that our facilitator has the last document and has applied for her passport - BUT we have not seen this document, nor do we have a date as to when the passport was applied for.  That information is crucial in determining our next step.  We still have to decide

1. File i600 in the States while we wait for her passport, then schedule embassy appointments once we have approval and passport, then fly over together when visa is issued

OR

2. Have Rob fly over to DRC and file i600 in Congo and attend Embassy appointment all at the same time and then I would fly over 2 weeks later

At this point, we just want to get to HER!  We worked out the budget and it will cost almost exactly the same to make two trips, so cost is not an issue.  We feel very strongly that both of us need to experience Congo for Imani's sake later on.  We both want to have had the experience of having been there so we know.  Hopefully, the decision will be made in the next couple of days.

A couple of weeks ago I posted something on my facebook page about taking a leap of faith.  I'm finally ready to share what that was!

I have decided not to return to my position as Office Manager at the medical practice where I currently work.  God has made it abundantly clear to me that I need to be home - not just for Imani, but also for our family life in general.  One of our sons is having some major troubles with school and then adding Imani to our family, the overwhelming stress I've been under the last couple of months (in addition to the adoption stress) and my general change in life perspective over the last year has combined to make for a pretty clear cut decision.

This is the biggest leap of faith I've ever taken because it has to do with my money!  I don't know how things are going to work out, but I know that no amount of money is worth the stress and the havoc my family has been enduring.  I'm comfortable with the decision, although, definitely a little scared because I have no control right now, but mostly, I'm excited.  Excited that I will be able to give my family what it needs - my presence.  My presence is so much more important than any of the "things" that my paycheck buys for them.  At the end of my life, I will not be counting the "things" I bought, but my family and friends that I did life with.

I'm ready for the next chapter to begin.....the one that has a little girl in it and the one where I am less stressed out! LOL

Oh, and this is another reason I love my neighborhood - this was done by ADULTS and not by teenagers!  And no, this is not my house!

Decisions...

I'm trying to post more to the blog;  it doesn't make for a good blog if it doesn't have regular updates, now does it?  So here is where we are;  we are still waiting for the Act of Adoption and the application of her passport.  Since we are still waiting, we have had to make some tough decisions based on the scenarios that may play out.
1.  If we get word soon that the Act of Adoption has been received and the passport has already been applied for, then I will fly over by myself and file our I-600 in country at the US Embassy.  Filing it in country vs. here in the states will shave about a month off the process, which means one less month for Imani in the orphanage.  I would stay for about a week shile getting some paperwork finished, meet and spend some time with Imani and then fly home.  Christy would then fly over several weeks later once the passport has been received to get the exit letter and bring Imani home.  Not the preferred option but the fastest.
2.  If the passport has not been applied for then we will file the I-600 here stateside and wait for it and the passport to be approved;  then both of us would travel together to go get Imani.  Chances are I would still have to leave after a week and Christy would stay until the exit letter is ready, probably an additional week.  With 3 boys, both of us simply cannot be gone longer than a week, so I'd rather Christy stay with her and have that time to bond.  Plus, it might look a little strange and actually may cause significant issues while attempting to travel back if it were just Imani and I. 

So, we are trying to wait patiently for an update so we know which scenario we are dealing with.  The facilitator (the lady that runs the orphanage) was back here in the states for the past two weeks so it's likely that nothing got accomplished in her absence, but we'll see. 

BUT...on a brighter note, we do have some exciting news that we will be revealing soon...

Keep the prayers coming...and thank you!

-Rob

Expectations, Frustrations and Delays

Since we've been keeping this blog, Christy and I have made an attempt to be as transparant as possible in regards to our thoughts and emotions in hopes that those who come after us in their adoption journey may find some comfort and insight into what to expect in the days, weeks and months to come.  If you've found this blog and are prospective adoptive parents, this post is written with you in mind.

We chose to do an independant adoption for various reasons;  the primary one being that at this time it doesn't appear that the US agencies have the necessary contacts on the ground in Congo to do a relatively quick adoption...relative being the operative word since the timeframes vary wildly.  That being said, if that was the #1 reason, #1a was that we wanted more information and control during the process.  Indpendant adoption allows you to be intimitely involved in every step of the process, but it doesn't come without it's own drawbacks as well.  More information and more "control" aren't always a good thing, as we've found out.  Case in point;  we are currently waiting on the final Act of Adoption paperwork to come through so that we can apply for her Congolese passport and go and get her.  One document....One.  How long does it take to get one simple document, especially considering all of the judgements have been made and she's legally ours?  A simple stamp?  A one-page letter?  Being an American, you're used to things being done in a timely manner with order and fairness...not so in other parts of the world.  It's not First In, First Out...in fact at many times it seems like First In, Last to know what in the world's going on over there...but the simple fact is that things don't work as quickly or as efficiently in a third world country as they do here.  That's a tough pill to swallow. 

Expectations are a hard thing to have in the adoption world, simply because they are almost always wrong.  We expected our case to go smoothly, we expected to be receiving constant updates on our child, we expected that because the first several steps of our journey went quickly that the rest of it would too, we expected fundraising to be a lot easier, we expected our life here to continue like clockwork during this process...we were wrong on all accounts.  As we tend to do, we had things built up in our minds about how our case was going to be the one that didn't have any problems, that our case was going to be completed in record time, that the date we picked six months ago to be travelling would somehow hold true.  Turns out, our case is just like everyone else's;  we're not the fastest, but we're not the slowest either.  We've had some speed bumps, but nothing like other's have had to deal with.  Our case is just your plain, simple, run of the mill adoption case...and I think there's a huge lesson in humility in there somewhere.  So, our case is still right on track time-wise and we've reset our expectations;  now we are planning on traveling somewhere around mid-March. 

I mentioned earlier that going independant allowed us the ability to have more control over our case.  I now laugh at that notion because once your homestudy is done, once the paperwork and fingerprinting for your I-600 is done, and once you've sent your money in there is absolutely nothing you can do but wait....and that's not control, that's the opposite of control.  Again, huge lesson there in waiting and trusting that God is taking care of it. 

As I try and take a step back from our situation and look at it from a thousand-mile view, I realize that almost all of our frustrations stem from our lack of faith, where we fall short in believing that ultimately He is in control and that things will happen when He allows them to.  We have been tested and stretched in our faith so much during this process that at times we weren't sure how we were going to make it through, but it's apparant to me now that He had a lot of work to do in us in a short time to prepare us for this awesome responsibility we are about to take on.  We've been forced to re-examine what's really important and adjust our lives accordingly.  We've also been told that once we are home with her, none of this will matter anyway, so we're trying find some comfort in that as well. 

Adoption is hard, plain and simple.  Once it's been imprinted on your heart to care for the orphans of the world, it becomes tremendously burdensome to have to wait to bring them into your home, where they'll be safe and loved.  You quickly develop deep feelings for a child you've never even met, to the point that it hurst just as much as if it were one of your biological children waiting for you in an orphanage overseas.  This is one of the things we didn't expect, to love her as much as we do, and it will be for you too.  But stay the course, it will be so worth it. 

Dreaming of her "Gotcha Day"

-Rob