God is doing amazing things in our lives right now and is using us in ways that I never would have imagined. This past week has been nothing short of amazing in so many ways that it's hard to even put it down into words, but there are several things, big God-sized things, on the horizon that we feel truly humbled to be apart of; one of those we'll reveal later on tonight. While I'm extremely excited about these things, I'm also feeling very unworthy and truly humbled by them as well. I look at my past, the mistakes I've made and continue to make, at the sins I keep asking God for forgiveness for over and over and I wonder why He chooses people like me to do His work. Please don't mistake this as a whoa is me, pity me post for that is not it's intention, I'm just trying to get some thoughts down and be as transparent as I can. I'm also continually overwhelmed by the generosity of the people we know and love towards our adoption efforts when at times it doesn't make sense or just seems plain crazy...to the point that at times I don't know how to respond with anything other than a thank-you because I'm truly at a loss for words but please know, we truly appreciate everything that everyone has done for us.
I have an accountability partner, a mentor if you will, that I meet with on a weekly basis...well, we try to meet that often but some weeks are just too crazy to match up our schedules. (as a side note to men; if you don't have an accountability partner, you need to seriously consider getting one.) I met him several months back on a mission trip to Honduras where I am certain that God placed us in the same room to find each other; he had been praying for someone to mentor and I had been praying for an accountability partner...now how cool is that? In any case, I was talking with him on Friday about all of the crazy things that have been layed out before us and how I just don't understand why God would pick me to do this kind of work; I've never thought that I would have a bunch of children or do something in the mission field yet here I find myself. I was relaying to him how I really don't feel worthy to be used like this and he reminded me that none of us are. We all fall short and it's only by His grace and mercy that any of us get to be apart of His work in the kingdom. If you look through the Bible you'll see time and time again examples of how God used not only ordinary people, but often they were those that society scoffed at; liars, cheaters, adulterers, murderers, persecuters, etc. So I'm encouraged that if God can use people like that to do His work, then he can surely use someone like me. So it is my prayer that He keeps me humble,meek and patient throughout all of this and I'll strive to continually seek His guidance in all the things that we do. I don't know where all of this will lead, but what I do know is that the devotional from Jesus Calling below says it all.