Friday, September 21, 2012

Honduras, Here I Come...

In roughly 5 and a half hours I leave on my first mission trip, this one being to Honduras and needless to say, the timing of this trip couldn't be worse (just received a referal, kids in school, Christy works full time, crazy busy at work, etc.)...or could it?  The fact is that if I don't go on this trip now, I may not get the chance in quite some time.  As some of you may know, Christy has already been on a mission trip to Brazil;  in fact it's what God used to nudge us towards adoption in the first place.  If you haven't heard or read the back story, you need to check out Christy's blog from before and during her trip, it's fabulous ( and really gives you the full backstory of how and why we are where we are. 
The short of it is that God really changed her on that trip and he set a fire inside her heart for the orphans of the world.  When she got back, it was evident to me that she was now light-years ahead of me spiritually and I just didn't get it because I hadn't experienced what she had.  It also was evident to me how vital it was going to be for me to go on a mission trip as well.  "They" say, and by they I mean everyone who's already been on one, that a mission trip will change your life;  it certainly has changed Christy, so I'm excited to see what God has in store for me in Honduras.  Even though we have a referal for a beautiful little girl that I'm already madly in love with, there is still something in my heart holding me back to take the next step, to help the other orphans in the world, too. prayer has been for God to break my heart for what breaks His and on this trip that He would open my eyes like He has Christy's.  I know this is a dangerous prayer and that you should be careful for what you ask for, but I've seen the work he's done in Christy and it makes my heart leap for joy seeing it in her...and I want the same thing. 
So, Hondoruras, here I come...and more importantly, my Lord, here I am...break me.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

100% in

The other day I was at a customer's of mine, showing off the picture of our little girl to anyone who would look.  One of the techs looked at me and said "You love her, don't you."  This wasn't a question, it was a statement.  She could see it in my eyes;  Yes, I love this little girl.  I love this little girl even though I haven't seen her in person, even though I've never heard her utter one word, even though I haven't held her in my arms.  That has caught me off guard;  I didn't expect to feel this way.  I didn't expect to have these emotions about someone I've never met, but the more that I think about it, the more I relate it to loving your unborn child.  Even though you can only see a picture, you still love them as if they were here with you. 
In 3 days I leave for Hondorus on a mission trip where I had expected God open my heart towards the orphans so that I may "get it" but I think He may have already done that.  I don't know what it is that He has planned for me on this trip, but I'm excited to experience it.
And as for the heart following in line with the mind, it has...and I'm 100% in.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Simply Amazing!

There are no words to describe last week.  NONE!  

I'm doing this Beth Moore Bible Study on my own called "Believing God".  It is SO AWESOME!  Last week started off horrible - I called USCIS on Monday and inquired about receipt of my biometric fees.  I was told, "There is nothing you can do right now, you have to be patient."  What I said in my mind was, "LADY - THIS IS PATIENT!  You should see me when I'm not!"  But, I refrained - which is no small wonder in itself!  So, my day ended with me being really mad at myself and me feeling defeated.  I woke up Tuesday morning and during my study was directed to this verse:

Isaiah 40: 28-31:

Do you not know?   Have you not heard?  The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  HE will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  HE gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  THEY will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (emphasis mine)

The first two sentences have stuck with me - Do you not know?  Have you not heard? - I could feel it deep in my spirit - God was reminding me - Remember who I am, I got this.  I won't get tired, even as you young people do.  You can't understand how great I am, but your hope is in me, so I'm going to increase your strength anyway.  

I ended my prayer time with a new found strength!  I felt so at peace it was amazing!  I KNEW in every ounce of my being that something GREAT was going to happen this day.  And - IT DID!  I called to check to see if the money order had been cashed and it had!  Praise God!  One more little step forward.  This may seem like such an insignificant thing, but when you have been waiting 2 weeks, knowing everything is being held up by this, it starts to get annoying.  This was my little piece of hope for the day.  

On Thursday morning, I received an e-mail back from the lockbox confirming my payment.  Praise GOD!  I was then able to forward it to the USCIS officer who had graciously agreed to help me, even though we had not been assigned an officer.  During the day, I saw a post that there were 5 girls available to be matched - 18 months through 7.  I knew we were just barely eligible, but not really at the "preferred" stage quite yet.  They like for you to have your approval from immigration first.  I was bit disappointed, but, told myself that our time was coming.  Rob and I had a very busy evening - soccer practice and back to school night.  While sitting at my kindergartner's desk, I get a facebook message - "What is your age range?"  My heart immediately jumped into my throat.  I learned that there were 4 girls not matched - 2ish, 4ish, 5ish and 7ish.    Oh my, a 2 year old!  WOW!  We spoke for awhile over facebook messenger.  She would not have pictures or medicals until the next morning.  How on earth was I supposed to sleep?

The crazy thing is that I had a Stella and Dot jewelry show scheduled for Friday night.  IT was my prayer back in August when I decided to do this show, that we would have a referral by then, so I could put her picture up for everyone to see during the show.

I wake up at 3:45am Friday morning - READY TO GO.  There was no falling back to sleep for me.  I did my usual morning things.  The pictures did not come in overnight, so there was morn waiting.  Mid morning, we received the picture of an adorable 2 year old little girl.  She was sad, but in her sadness, you could see the most beautiful eyes.  

We accepted her referral by 2pm that day!  Rob went to Walmart and printed her picture out for my jewelry show.  

God worked a miracle for me.  There is NO WAY that everything that happened last week could have been a coincidence.  NO WAY!  Last Monday, I never dreamed that by Friday morning we would have a referral and  see the face of the little girl who will be our daughter.

PRAISE GOD!  We are so excited!  

Now on to the uncomfortable part......


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

God Provides!

Well, Rob and I got into a little "disagreement" last night.  This followed the one from last week. 

When we first began this journey, our dear friends, warned us that things would happen. 

Last week's "disagreement" was a big one.  I was mad - he was mad - we both went to bed mad.  I got up the next morning I got up to do my bible study and to pray and God reminded me of the warning we had received.  Apparently, our friends began to argue (about nothing really) but to the point where they began to doubt their decision to bring another child into their home.  We didn't get that far, but there was a general feeling of - annoyance - in our relationship that seemed to dig it's feet in and get comfortable.  I woke Rob up the next morning and we discussed this.  We decided that we would not even discuss the previous night because we both knew we went normal to over the top in less than 6.2 seconds!  Anyway, we moved past that last week. 


It happened again last night.  We recognized it much quicker this time, but we argued about waiting and praying.  I asked him to pray because I was getting anxious about the waiting again.  I did really well this past week, but my facebook "group" friends all got updates and some announced referrals and the anxiety of it all came creeping back.  Last night I whined to Rob that I was really good this past week and that I needed a "bone" or "nugget" or something to keep me going.  Something to let me know that we were still moving in the right direction.

I got up this morning and prayed.  I prayed that I would have the strength to wait well.  This is a very difficult thing for me.  I don't like waiting.  I can't stand it.  DO-ers are not waiter-ers.  We just aren't!

Well, God provided a little nugget for me!  Our documents are being translated into French as we speak!  Praise God!  Thank you!!! Thank you!!! Thank  you!!!  I can work with this.  At least something is happening.  This is all wonderful because once we get our referral (anytime now, really) our documents will be translated and ready to go!  We won't have to "wait" on this.

YEAH!  A little "something" to tide me over!